


Kiss me Just a Little

by EtoileGarden



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Banter, Conversations, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oneshot, Pre Epilogue, St Agnes, post trk, ronan is an angsty dick bag full of sarcasm, teenagers are dumb shits, these are happy boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 06:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13631055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EtoileGarden/pseuds/EtoileGarden
Summary: This was still taking some getting used to. It had already been months, but.By this, Adam wasn’t just talking about the weird sense of contentment that had been sitting heavily in his stomach lately. He was talking more of trying to get used to the fact of Gansey’s death and revival. Of his own hands and eyes betrayal. Of Noah being dead and dead and dead. Of Blue’s power of sending away life and calling it back. Of Ronan being unmade so close to him while he couldn’t even touch him. Of Ronan. Of Ronan slipping into his moonlit room at St Agnes at a little past 3 on a Saturday morning.(Also known as Arden writes a fic at midnight even though she has 3 other fics to write)





	Kiss me Just a Little

This was still taking some getting used to. It had already been months, but.

 

By  _ this _ , Adam wasn’t just talking about the weird sense of contentment that had been sitting heavily in his stomach lately. He was talking more of trying to get used to the fact of Gansey’s death and revival. Of his own hands and eyes betrayal. Of Noah being dead and dead and dead. Of Blue’s power of sending away life and calling it back. Of Ronan being unmade so close to him while he couldn’t even touch him. Of Ronan. Of Ronan slipping into his moonlit room at St Agnes at a little past 3 on a Saturday morning. 

 

That particular bit, the 3 am bit, that wasn’t the bit that was taking some getting used to. Ronan had been using Adam’s apartment as his personal B’n’B for months now, and with his sense of what hours are best for sleeping, 3 am had often been a viable time for him to crash his way into Adam’s room in need of some distraction. 

 

What Adam was really talking about, what really was still strange to him even as he told himself it wasn’t, was that when Ronan came to St Agnes at 3 am now, he didn’t drop himself grumpily down on the floorboards beside Adam’s mattress, or at the foot of it, or at Adam’s desk, he dropped himself down beside Adam on the mattress, tugged at the blankets until he could slide under the sheets with him. 

 

“Have you ever,” Adam grunted , voice vaguely muffled as he’s face down in his pillow, “thought about coming over at a normal time?” 

 

“I’ve considered it,” Ronan says with a squashed shrug, he’s pushing at Adam to get Adam to roll over, “but then I thought, nah, Adam’s cute when he’s grumpy.” 

 

“You’re a shithole,” Adam says plainly, rolling over at Ronan’s proddings, and stretching his arm out so Ronan can rest in the crook of his arm, so he can press his face against Adam’s neck. “And it isn’t cute.” 

 

“Sure,” Ronan says against his skin, making it uncomfortably warm and damp with his breath, “should I go then?” 

 

“Lock the door on your way out,” Adam replies, rubs his fingers across Ronan’s scalp. His hair is still buzzed short, but he’s letting it grow out longer than he had been. It’s still prickly on Adam’s fingers, but long enough that there’s a little give in it. Ronan shifts under his fingers, first pressing his head back against Adam’s palm, and then away again so he can press a kiss to Adam’s neck. 

 

“I’ll go then,” he says, kisses again, and Adam sighs loudly. 

 

“Go or sleep,” he says without quite as much sincerity as he was aiming for, “I need to be sleeping too, I don’t want distractions right now.” 

 

“Distractions from what?” Ronan asks, doesn’t kiss this time, bites instead. Not hard, more like a brush of teeth against skin, but it’s enough to get Adam to shiver under his sheets, to tip his head sideways. 

 

“From sleeping,” he says, works hard to keep his voice steady. He is so unused to this still. 

 

“You don’t have work tomorrow,” Ronan points out, “you have the day off. You don’t need to sleep.” This time he kisses again, wetly, though. It draws another shiver from Adam. 

 

“It’s already tomorrow,” he says sharply, “and I don’t want to waste it by being exhausted just because you’re a needy fucker.” 

 

“Parrish,” Ronan scoffs, opens his mouth further so he can press horrifyingly sloppy kisses up Adam’s throat, so he can scrape his teeth against the underside of Adam’s jaw, “if you want me to stop, tell me to stop, if you don’t, stop trying to play sensible.” 

 

Adam groans, mostly annoyance, partially because Ronan’s hand is pressing firm against his abdomen, tugging at Adam’s sleep shirt. 

 

“Fine,” he says, pushes himself up on his elbows so Ronan can wrangle him out of his shirt easier, “did you leave Opal at the Barns?” 

 

“Yes,” Ronan says, tugs the shirt off over Adam’s head and chucks it carelessly behind him before leaning in to press his mouth to Adam’s shoulder, “She’s fine. She’s asleep. Stop thinking about Opal right now.” 

 

“Oh sorry,” Adam says, rolling his eyes. He grips onto the back of Ronan’s neck, hard enough that he can feel his nails pressing against Ronan’s skin, not as hard as he knows Ronan likes it, “should I think about Gansey, instead, maybe?” 

 

“Fuck you,” Ronan says, bites down on muscle, then shifts his mouth back to Adam’s neck, bites there, gentler, then up to Adam’s mouth finally, kisses him hard. Adam kisses him back. 

 

He might be unused to being woken up by another body in his bed, or by Ronan’s hands gentle on him, or by the affection which coats his voice, but he had very quickly gotten used to the kissing. Or possibly not got used to it, that almost implies that it became boring (which it very, very, very much did not do), rather, he became very adept at it very quickly. He had kissed only a few other people before Ronan, and none of them very well or for very long. The thing was, kissing with Ronan was a very much all or nothing kind of thing. So, even though it was 3 am in the morning, and he really isn’t used to the majority of what is occurring currently, he kisses Ronan back as hard as he’s being kissed.  

 

Opens his mouth against Ronan’s and breathes in steady through his nose, then less steady as Ronan shifts purposefully against him, bites down on his lip. 

 

Adam tugs away just slightly, drops his head to one side to breathe a little easier, bunches his hands in the fabric of Ronan’s shirt, wants that off. “You good?” he asks, and Ronan snorts as he pulls his own shirt off and throws it away as well, hands returning immediately to Adam’s skin. 

 

“Of course,” he replies, blase, “I’m in your bed, how could I be anything else?” 

 

“You’re just very - ah - focused tonight,” Adam points out as Ronan presses himself back down against Adam, skin to skin, shifts until he can press his hips hard against Adam’s, “very focused.” 

 

“Mhm?” Ronan says, his mouth against Adam’s clavicle, his hands on Adam’s hips, thumbs hooked into the indents by his bones. Adam smoothes his own hands down Ronan’s back, pressing hard at taut muscles and hot skin. “So?” 

 

“So,” Adam says, realises his eyes are tightly closed and opens them again so he can look down at Ronan, at the shadows cast on Ronan’s face even in this dim, dim light, eyelashes a dark smudge, cheekbones blurring into the darkness around them, “what’s got you worked up?” 

 

“You worry too much,” Ronan says, one hand traveling down from hip to ass to thigh to pull Adam’s leg up, “I just wanted to see you.” 

 

“In the dark?” Adam says, it’s very difficult to speak with a mouthful of moan, “This feels more like touching, to me.” 

 

“So?” Ronan says again, “Parrish, you’re too suspicious for your own good. Do you wanna get off or nah?” 

 

“Ah-” Adam says coherently, Ronan pushing his thumb firmly in under his hip bone, “obviously I do, I’m hard and awake now,” he bites out, “but I’m also awake enough now to tell you’re being the fuckin’ suspicious one.” 

 

“Oh,” Ronan asks, slides his hand back up and across Adam’s hips to curl his fingertips over the waistband of Adam’s underwear, “being horny for my boyfriend is a crime now, is it?” 

 

“Ro,” Adam says, is thankful he can still sound vaguely firm even with Ronan slowly edging his underwear down, “as much as I don’t like spending my 3 am’s chatting, I want you to tell me what’s up. Without your hand on my dick.” 

 

“Ugh,” Ronan says, pulls his hands away and rolls off of Adam to lie on his back scrunched up next to him instead, “fine. Don’t complain about blue balls then.” 

 

“When have I ever?” Adam replies, rolling his eyes and shifting himself over onto his side so he can see Ronan’s face, “Bad dreams?” 

 

“No,” Ronan bites out, “can’t we just jerk each other off instead of having to do oral therapy? Or, oh, that sounds like an even better idea, how about  _ oral _ therapy-” 

 

“Ronan,” Adam says blandly, “not bad dreams, then, so, you haven’t been sleeping?” 

 

“Sometimes I hate that you’re so freakishly smart,” Ronan grumbles. 

 

“Have you been not sleeping because you’re worried about bad dreams?” Adam presses, rests his chin in the dip of Ronan’s shoulder, and Ronan sighs, closes his eyes. 

 

“No,” he says, “I miss you. It’s just -” he breaks off to grunt angrily. 

 

Here was another thing Adam knew neither of them were used to at all yet, the whole talking shit out thing. The whole, admitting they have various emotions that may sit better if they talked about them. What Adam had gotten used to, was that to help Ronan get used to this, it helped to just sit there quietly, to let Ronan say what he needed to say without interruptions. Now the ball was rolling, Ronan needed to get it all out, or he’d get stuck and refuse to budge.

 

“I love The Barns,” Ronan continues begrudgingly, “and I love living there again, and I love having Opal there, and I love not having to fucking go to Aglionby anymore-” he breaks off again to swear loudly. Probably he’d said the word ‘love’ too many times and he didn’t feel it fit his aesthetic. Adam kisses his shoulder. Ronan continues. 

 

“But it’s fucking ages away from all of you and I feel - sometimes - sometimes I feel isolated from it all, and I know that’s not on any of you all, I know I’m the one who’s putting myself there, but it makes me shitting angry sometimes.” 

 

He stops here, but Adam isn’t entirely sure he’s done, if he’s at the bottom of the cliff, or if he’s just got caught on an outcropping or some shit and just needs a nudge. He’s carrying this metaphor a little too far probably. 

 

“Yeah?” Adam asks quietly, hopes it’s a subtle enough nudge. Ronan grunts. 

 

“I miss you all,” he admits, voice suddenly much lower, “I thought it was getting better, y’know, it’s been ages since… since it all.... Yeah. But I’m still scared sometimes that I’ll come back and… Gansey’ll be dead or some shit, and Blue will be gone, and you’ll be -” 

 

“I’ll be?” Adam prompts. He lives 5 minutes from Gansey and sometimes he’s scared of the same thing. 

 

“I don’t know,” Ronan says, “I don’t know. I’m just scared when you’re not around, Parrish, because I’m a fucking baby.” 

 

“No object permanence?” Adam asks, teasing lightly, and Ronan snorts out a noise somewhere between amusement and annoyance, and shoves at him. 

 

“Fuck off,” he says, then, “I’m trying to be better at it,” he says, “at missing you without needing - without needing to just come the fuck over or whatever, but - it’s just -” he shrugs, glares at the ceiling, “I have to,” he says firmly, “I have to get used to it because we don’t have that much fucking longer until most of my time is going to be missing you because you’ll be off being a snotty swot at some disgustingly posh university, and I can’t be going around off my head because I miss your smell or some shit.” 

 

Another thing Adam is still excessively not used to, despite having had it for a little longer than a few months, vocalisation of being wanted. It still churns his stomach hearing it in anyone’s mouth, even if he only has to hear it with one ear. 

 

“First of all,” Adam says, “I know the only thing you really like about my smell is the gasoline, so maybe you could just keep a gross car rag in your pocket to smell or whatever-” he breaks off momentarily so Ronan can cuff his head. He grins widely and presses in to kiss Ronan’s cheek before continuing, a little softer than before. 

 

“I get it,” he says carefully, “I do. I feel the same way so much of the time, Ro, sometimes I miss you so much I feel like I can’t breathe, and you’re only half an hour away.” 

 

Ronan makes a small, odd noise, doesn’t interrupt. 

 

“That doesn’t mean you need to fucking train yourself out of it like it’s a bad habit though,” Adam says, “or that you need to - to - deny yourself, I guess. We have more time to get used to being with each other, to get used to the idea of doing long distance as well, before we actually have to do it.” 

 

“I don’t need time to get used to being with you,” Ronan scoffs, “fuck off, Parrish, you’re the only fucking thing in my life that makes sense half the time, that’s not an issue.” 

 

“Ok, hotshot,” Adam says, tells the warmth in his stomach to wait its turn, “listen, if you’re feeling fucking lonely in your weird ass barns with your weird ass goat daughter, you can always ask me - or Gansey or Blue or Henry - to come over. Or like, to stay over for a bit. You know that.” 

 

“I’m going to tell Opal you called her a weird ass goat,” Ronan replies, and Adam pinches his side lightly. 

 

“Lynch,” he says, “I know I’m fucking busy a lot of the time, but I can make more room for you if you need it. If you want it. So ask for it, ok?” 

 

“She’s going to be really mad,” Ronan says, “she might try and headbutt you, or eat your school books again.” 

 

“Ok?” Adam repeats, firm. 

 

“Ok,” Ronan sighs, “God, Parrish. Ok.” 

 

“Good,” Adam says, “I’m not going anywhere yet, y’know, and when I do? I’m always gonna come back t’you.” 

 

“Oh fuck off with the sappy shit,” Ronan says, but his cheeks are pink and he’s rolling onto his side towards Adam, “God, Parrish.” 

 

“Hey,” Adam says, ignores the forced sarcasm in Ronan’s voice, “I love you, I’m always coming back.” 

 

“Ugh,” Ronan says, “I love you too, dickbag, are we done?” 

 

“And Gansey is safe,” Adam continues, not done, “he’s safe, he’s gonna stay safe, and Blue’s not leavin’ us either, neither’s Henry and I know you worry about that too, so shut your mouth, Lynch. I know just sayin’ this shit isn’t as useful as seeing it, but if it helps at all, I’m happy to say it to you as often as you want.” 

 

“Gross,” Ronan comments, smushes his face against Adam’s face, “you too, though,” he adds quietly, “I want to be here for you too,” he says. 

 

“I know,” Adam says, even though his brain is telling him that he does not know. He does know this. He’s not used to it. He thinks he’ll never be used to it. He knows he will though, one day, maybe even soon, he’ll be used to hearing Ronan wanting to be here for him, Ronan wanting him, Ronan loving him. “I love you,” he says again, because he knows that he fucking loves hearing it, knows Ronan does too. 

 

“Fuck off,” Ronan moans, he seems physically incapable of hearing this from Adam without replying though, “I love you, now,  _ God _ , can I get back to your dick?” 

 

“You’re the worst sweet talker,” Adam sighs, rocks his hips up against Ronan’s, “yeah.” 

 

It honestly doesn’t take very long. If this was anyone other than Ronan, Adam might have been embarrassed. He’s too tired, too in love, too pushed to the edge already to be able to last much. His consolation prize here, (aside from the orgasm, obviously) is that Ronan also can’t last. 

 

It’s all Ronan’s mouth on his, and then on his neck, and his shoulders, and his chest. Ronan’s hands giving up on taking Adam’s underwear off, instead just shoving his hand down the front of it and pulling his dick out instead. Adam shoving his hand down in between the two of them to take Ronan’s dick out as well, to rub his thumb over the tip of Ronan’s cock and Ronan takes the both of them in one hand to jerk them clumsily together. It’s Adam pressing his fingertips against Ronan’s lips until Ronan moans and opens his mouth for them and his hips staccato and his hand falters for a beat before he picks up the pace again. It’s Adam using his free hand to rest at the base of Ronan’s spine to press the two of them together firmer, firmer. And then it’s all a mess, and an almost 4 am clean up, and Ronan getting back into bed with Adam, complaining that he’s having to sleep on the damp side. 

 

“It’s your turn,” Adam tells him, eyes already asleep and heavy with fatigue. Ronan is pressed all up against him, everywhere his mind goes is skin and warmth and residual want.

 

“Wouldn’t have this problem if I just blew you,” Ronan mumbles against Adam’s neck, and Adam pokes him hard in the hip. 

 

“I need to sleep,” he says, “stop your mouth from making noises.” 

 

“You could stop it for me,” Ronan says, far too suggestively for someone who is actively drooping with exhaustion in Adam’s arms. 

 

“Go to sleep,” Adam says, “you’re driving me to The Barns later today and I don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel.” 

 

“So strict,” Ronan mumbles, “kiss me just a little, then?” 

 

“Just a little,” Adam says, kisses him just a little. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! If you like my writing, please consider donating a couple of $$'s to my ko-fi!   
> ko-fi.com/ardenetoile


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